Twilight Fans - Explain Yourselves!

This is a legitimate question: how on Earth or heaven above can any reasonably minded person defend the Twilight series as quality literature or cinema? I have not read the books, and I have only seen one of the movies, but this is an honest inquiry.

Nearly everyone woman/girl I know has read this book series and faithfully watched the movies, and nearly all of them treat it as some sort of stigmata... and they continue to follow it nonetheless. My fiancee flew through the books, devouring each of them within days, but she says they're nothing special. She's hated the movies. Hated them. Any time Twilight comes up in the national conversation, she talks about how unhealthy the Edward-Bella relationship is, how stupid the Bella character is, how poorly the books are written, how bad the movies are... She even showed me a scene from Breaking Dawn where the wolf pack talks telepathically and is all "The baby must die!", "I am the son of a chief - I take orders from no one!", and all growly and Darth Vader-sounding... the dumbest spoof in the world could not come up with a funnier, more ridiculous scene - and she told me no one laughed! She nearly fell out of her seat in hysterics, and the other patrons just watch it placidly.

This is a real scene!

So what is the appeal?

I was ambushed by New Moon. On the way home from work, my fiancee surprised me with a "Guess what we're watching at midnight!" phone call. I'd never expressed interest, never even feigned desire to have anything to do with the Twilight series, but there I was, surrounded by screaming, moronic, adolescent girls at midnight on opening night. God, what an awful movie. Truly, an awful movie. Poorly written, poorly made, bad special effects, bad acting - there was not a single redeemable quality about that movie. My fiancee agreed.

And yet there she was, and there she has been, year after year waiting in line for the next one. It's like this series has some kind of pull over her - like the morbid curiosity that causes us to stare at a car wreck.

This just screams vapid.

It's not her I want to hear from, though. I want to hear from the real fans. I want to hear from the delusional ones who regard this as essential reading, essential viewing; the ones who think Edward and/or Jacob embody some sort of masculine ideal which men should aspire to; the ones who identify with and feel for Bella's struggle to choose the right mate.

I want this information because I just don't understand this phenomenon. It's not uncommon for garbage to claim a place in the public pantheon (how else do you explain the success of Michael Bay?), but so far as I can tell there is truly not one positive thing about the series. From what I've seen, Edward is a complete and utter douchebag who has not learned anything about humanity, culture, or himself within the centuries he's lived; Bella is an idiot who falls for the wrong man and subsequently spends the rest of the time justifying her foolishness to herself and everyone else; and Jacob is nothing more than a superficial plot device meant to introduce some sort of rote complication in an otherwise overly simplistic story.

One girl I work with tells me she likes the books because she's a hopeless romantic. This makes no sense to me. What is romantic about someone telling you what to do? A woman willing to die for me is not attractive - it's insane. Did no one see Fatal Attraction? That's what obsession leads to! Another friend tells me it's mindless fun, that she just has a good time. This I at least understand. Garbage as camp, I get; garbage as engaging entertainment, I don't.

So let me hear it, Twilight fans. This is your time. Tell me what you like about the series. Extoll the brilliance of Stephanie Myers' creation. Defend against my attacks. Let me know why I'm wrong. And make it good.